Faster

There are many times when I think that I simply wish my life away. I'm always looking to that point in the future and not living in the now. But focusing on the now too much isn't quite right either. The date I'm looking forward to now is February 4. February 4 is moving day. However, moving day is preceded by closing day, which husband and I are anxiously looking towards with nervousness. We've been through such a time with the bank doing mortgage junk; we're both just paranoid that something won't go right at closing. This concern isn't just for our welfare, but for the poor folks who're selling their house and trying head south to Florida to begin their own lives anew. I hate banks. Since husband's initial visit with the loan officer, we've received calls from several different people at the Big Bank either trying to sell us services, move our loan along, or tell us that we need to submit something that they should already have. Our experience with the Big Bank is a testament to the worthiness of doing business with the smaller folks than the huge establishments. So, I'm wishing time would just move faster, to when we're settled.

Faster is the theme of my running right now. November's marathon left a bad taste in my mouth. I've spent the past couple of months recuperating from that feeling. I followed a recovery schedule, then followed no schedule at all, and then for a week I even ran without my watch. Now, I'm back in focus. Last week I ran with the Garmin and lamented my woeful slowness. My mantra is faster. Yesterday I ran an 8-miler, the longest in several weeks, at under 10:00/mi. pace. Today I ran five miles at 9:33/mi. pace. I figure I'll take one day a week of "recovery" when I run and disassociate. The rest of my running days will be focused on breathing to a perceived level of effort that's faster than my typical puttering. I plan to expend more mental energy associating with my running through monitoring my body, rather than contemplating what to make for dinner. Slow training makes a slow runner. That's how I've become and remain slow. I'm actually thinking another birthday marathon for 2006, on November 12 at the Outer Banks of North Carolina. And I will be faster.